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Orgasm Wars: America: EXTREME Edition

by YOUR HEAD FAG IN CHARGE

The Japanese aren’t the only ones who like orgasms. That’s all I can think when I watch a recent video that’s been circulating the Internet. The clip is of a gay man attempting to make a straight porn star blow a load before the clock runs out on a Japanese game show called Orgasm Wars.

People enjoy the video for the same reason they enjoy other Japanese programming – for the “’weird’ sexual culture,” said the Week. Putting Japanese culture aside, this is kind of a brilliant concept. The US may be a little uptight, but I think they could warm to such a concept if it were marketed to the appropriate audience.

Hell, why not add another twist? In the American version, let’s up the ante and have 3 sets of oral sex givers and receivers. All sorts of drastically different people. Old men. Plastic surgery babes. Hairy bears. Butch lesbians. Twinks. Have them mingle at the beginning of the game show. Then, you blindfold the receivers and of course cover up the private regions for television. They are timed, naturally, and after the 3 get off they are tasked with figuring out which person got them off. They can be allowed to ask questions Dating Game style to determine which cocksucker was theirs. The prize? Well, other than getting your rocks off, you and the lucky cum guzzler can win a trip to Cancun, where you can both get off until your genitals are content with gonorrhea.

I think it would be perfect for our culture. We need a new dating show to replace dated dinosaurs like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. It’s 2013 and we live in a society where sexuality is finally more visible and open-minded. Also, we like our shock value. Combine the two and push some boundaries. Let The Parents Television Council come with their torches and pitchforks because they’re not the targeted demographic. Besides, their antics will just bring in more viewers.

Someone please do this. I need new a guilty pleasure reality show. I’m looking at you LOGO 😉

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