Seven Ways to Come Out With Flair

“This chart shows the correlation between my same-sex attraction and number of short haircuts had per year.”

by ELLE GATEAU

If simply sitting your parents down and telling them you’re gay sounds like a bore, pull some silly inspiration from these seven ways to creatively come out.

1.) With A PowerPoint Presentation

Your sexuality can be confusing to explain to your family. Why not break it down for them? Create a PowerPoint that explains your orientation and be sure to include lots of rainbow graphics for extra emphasis. They’ll be sure to get the point.

2.) A song

If you’ve got even a tad of musical talent, opt for a song. Get your best buds together and write an upbeat tune or a loving ballad that truly showcases your homosexuality. Bonus points if you can include a spontaneous dance break.

“I’m Spashley’s biggest fan.” SING IT, GRRRL.

3.) A Card

Still haven’t come out to your mom? Letter know! Write her a card or note that breaks the big news. Nowadays you can even find cards that let you record your own personal audio message. Record your coming out, write a note, and mail the news to your parents. Maybe include a photo of you and your “roommate” that they haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet.

See? Coming out doesn’t have to be complicated.

4.) Skywriting

It may not be easy on the wallet, but having a personalized message written through the sky is a surefire way to come out with a bang.

Consider adding a personal pronoun and a verb to really get your message across.

5.) Cats

Though rather impractical, this tactic has a great punch line. Buy as many cats as you can fit in your home. Eventually, your friends and family are bound to ask you, “Why do you have so many cats?” to which you reply, “What can I say; I love pussy!”

Courtesy She Who Seeks

If your friends and family reject you for your orientation then you still have a dozen nonjudgmental, feline friends to surround yourself with. Stay paw-sitive!

6.) A cake

What sweeter way is there to come out than with a cake? Or, a gayke, rather. Bake something with a rainbow interior and write your sexuality in icing. You and your friends can discuss your sexuality over your delicious creation. If things go badly, you still have a sweet treat to mitigate the situation. What a piece of cake!

Your author went with Option #6.

7.) A haiku

Perhaps you’re a poet and you don’t even know it. The rule for a haiku is 5-7-5. The first line has five syllables, the second line seven, and the third line five again. Write your loved ones a short and sweet haiku to break the news. Here’s an example:

Listen up you guys

I am super duper gay

Still love me, ok?