Dating men with children, that is the topic at hand. Should you do it or not? Sexuality is not black or white; there are gray areas. My best friend who is a Jacqueline of all trades always says, “Sexuality is very much a scale and everyone falls somewhere on it”. Agreed! Based on how I view my sexuality, I define myself as gay. However, not all men who sleep with men define themselves as gay. Funny, isn’t it? Well, it’s true! When I first meet a man who I believe to be a potential future baby daddy I always ask him how he defines his sexuality. Their answer to that question usually lets me know how much B.S. I should anticipate.
Many men who define themselves as gay have, at some point, slept with a woman. Others only dated women and then well into their adult lives realized they had a thing for boys and transitioned. You may also run into men who are outright bisexual. There are also men who are “curious”, “undecided”, “questioning” or my personal favorite…”inquisitive”. NOT! How hilarious is that last one? How would that conversation go? “No, I’m not gay. Yes, I slept with that guy but that’s only because I’m…inquisitive.” Sounds like someone’s got a thirst for…”learning”.
So…where were we? Oh, yes! Now I recall…Regardless of what a man’s sexuality may be there isn’t anything physically preventing him from sleeping with a woman. This leads to a surprisingly high population of gay men having children with women…the natural way. Disgusting, right? Just kidding. You’ve met a man you like who tells you he has a child. So now what do you do? Do you go on dating him or drop him like a bad habit?
There are so many factors to consider:
-How old is the child?
-Is there more than one?
-What is the relationship like with the baby mama?
Not to sound indecisive, but like my best friend also tells me, “there are numbers between one and one hundred.” She’s right and that applies here perfectly. I don’t think knowing only that a man has a child is enough to base dumping him or not. For some of you it may be and if that’s you, get your life, beloved! However, I ask the rest of you to take this on a case-by-case basis.
All I know is: If I end up meeting man with a child hopefully that child is a teenage girl. Lets face it, at that point she and I will have more in common than me and her daddy.
-‘Berto : )