by Sara McLeod
When I arrived in Reno to try my luck in the legal cannabis industry, I had two immediate missions: find a reliable weed supply and track down the tiny local (pot-smoking) queer community. Relocating from Brooklyn, I was reasonably anxious about living in a tiny town in a rural state. Even worse, I treat that very anxiety with marijuana. Before the realization that I wouldn’t know anyone who could hook me up upon touchdown threw me into a vicious cycle of nail biting, I sucked it up and logged onto good ol’ OkCupid.
To use OkCupid’s own values-rating terminology, when I’m trolling for a potential partner, I consider marijuana use to be “very important.” I know that may limit me from meeting some great people, but at least I know what I want (and it isn’t those great people).
It can be majorly disappointing then, when upon logging in, relaxed on the couch and bowl in hand, I read through a cute girl’s seemingly 86% matching profile (watches pretty little liars/hates mayo/loves cats but doesn’t have kids) only to scroll across the dreaded “Drugs” response of “Never.” But wait, what if she only “never” does heroin? Maybe I should still message her? Or maybe I should develop a way to ask girls out without having to split these pesky hairs?
Through months years of personal research, I have developed several techniques for utilizing a makeshift stoner filter for perusing OkCupid. When you log in, you’ve got to go straight to “Browse Matches.” Avoid the noise in the slider window; it’ll only disappoint as described above. Once there, use the green “Advanced” drop-down to select “Drugs.” Select “often” and/or “sometimes,” search again, and you’ve filtered out the straight-edges.
Want more specifics on what and how often your potential mate is using? Bust open your intended’s profile and head to the “The Two of Us” tab. Scroll down to the bar showing the percentage of matching “Lifestyle” questions and click it; this is where the drug-specific inquiries are hiding. Peruse her responses or filter further by searching specific terms. Type in “marijuana” and there’s a high chance (see what I did there?) that you’ll instantly know how she feels (or at least claims to feel on the internet) about ganja.
Or, if you’d prefer a less passive approach, just follow the lead of one lady I recently exchanged pleasantries with and adorn your profile with a polite disclaimer along the lines of, “Narcs, f*ck off.” You’ll at least rule out the ones who read all the way to the bottom.
Once you identify the stoner of your dreams, it’s up to you to get the joint rolling, so to speak. If you’re only looking for new buddies to toke with, expand your search by loading your profile and clicking the green “edit” pencil next to “I’m looking for.” Select “New Friends,” but be warned that when you cast a wide net, you might not like everything that bites.
So how is the stoner filter working so far in Reno? I met Sam, who prompted that warning, and then I met Laura, who’s totally great, except for her girlfriend. Laura introduced me to Iris, a friend she made through the magic of OkCupid stoner filters. And while Iris isn’t my soul mate, she is helping me cultivate a steady relationship with my One True Love: Mary Jane.
There may be other OkCupid tools to find your perfect pot-smoking mate, but the methods described above have been anecdotally successful in helping yours truly to settle into a strange new place. After messaging and meeting a motley crew of other recent transplants, I quickly had a network of bloodhounds sniffing out the local supply. Several new queer stoner friends and quite a bit of locally grown weed later, Reno is feeling more like home. I still may not have a soul mate, but hey, I only ever asked OkCupid to find me community and cannabis, not to work a miracle.